why??

sometimes i do believe that when i’m beginning not to trust the person i care for,trusting a stranger works ..

maybe i’m thinking too much but it worked at times..i can share everything with the stranger,and vice versa..eventhough we just met ..

considering my other half can’t be bothered to share everything with me..so why not?..at the same it’s a one off thingy,because i’m not going to meet that person again..

i mean if i’m single i won’t mind,but thinking again i just felt it wasn’t right to have a second meet..

it hurts when you think that when she decided to be with me,i can share everything with her..i mean,that’s where i think we can build the pillar and trust and communication etc..the basics of a relationship..

But then,there is the best friend issue among other things. I don’t blame her best friend. I don’t feel inferior due for a fact her best friend is a girl. I’m just upset that she can’t adjust herself to suit her own boyfriend’s needs,attention etc. She should know for a fact if she wants to be committed to someone,she should have thought about these things..

i really don’t blame her best friend. It’s unfair if i blame her best friend. It’s my other half who must have the initiative. And the worst part is she can be ignorant about it. Many times i tried to at least give her a hint of what i don’t like at what she’s doing, but she still do it. She doesn’t listen to me. And give reasons for it. I just feel one sided that’s all.

So what if you and your best friend have gone through alot, no offence but seriously spare a thought for your own boyfriend. I don’t want to get in between both of you. I respect your friendship with her. I don’t ask for complicated things..i’m not someone who asks for your presence 24/7..i just need you to be my listening ear,to be there for me when i need you..share with me everything..why oh why you can’t do that for me?..

I’m not asking you to repay all the things i’ve done for you. Try asking yourself,what have you done for me?..apart from buying a packet of pastries,which i don’t think it’s Halal but i ate it anyway because i trust you.

For example..can’t you see your colleagues flirting with you?..hey i kept quiet because i want you to realise it  yourself..it’s either you acted as if you don’t know about it or you’re just ignoring my concern

Trust..yes trust is what i’m asking from you. Trust me when i say i can take care of you,when i promised myself before i decided to become your partner. You don’t have to refer to your best friend every time you have a problem or something good to share..give me a chance.

We are still early in our relationship. If you think you’re in this for fun..tell me.

i just feel you are taking me for granted. Hearing how you treated your recent ex, i have a feeling the same thing will happen to me. Zalim ah.it’s just zalim what you did to him. I let Allah decide. I don’t do that to you. You msgd me all the talk about faith and all that..just talk,no action.  Promises,empty promises..

Leaving you is easy..but it’s not an option..i don’t give up that easily..Many times i fought for my past exes, in the end i left them because i felt it’s not worth fighting for someone who took me for granted. For the first time i met someone who i want to grow old with, and then just like that,you do things that hurt..I will fight for you,i’m not giving up because what i see in you is something which i can’t find again

new person

how do we define like?..

hmm i really want to know..

Because sometimes the feeling of  ’like’..can easily become love..

Meeting someone new is easy,at least for most people..

Liking someone is also easy,especially with the opposite sex whom you are attracted to..

Loving someone..it takes some time..but eventually there will be love .. if you start to become close with one another..

 

Now the point is ..if let say there is a new girl/guy that comes into your life..what would you do?..

too fast?..take it slow?..sometimes when you do both things you will end up losing him/her..irony..

so what’s the best move?..

To Each Its Own…

what is it?

Had a good talk with my friend..it was a brief one but it affected me alot..

Yea well it’s about me..

And yes it’s about time that i’d be more attentive, or shall i say concerned..to what am i doing in my daily life.

Shut out those people around me that are useless, who don’t care for me, who don’t give a damn to what i’m doing or whatever. It’s kinda cliche but sometimes the ones you care for,they don’t care for you..they are not showing it but it’s obvious..i myself made mistakes in my life, and one of them is shutting out those people who really care for me,instead of embracing them or just appreciate what they did. Mostly these things happened with girls,yea i admit i’ve got a soft spot for them,i pity,i care for them..but in return?..some appreciate,others don’t,some just don’t know what to say like as if a lot of good guys out there are dead or taken..that’s why some guys i know changed their personalities,by becoming what they claim themselves as a “bad boy”. It’s fun being that,but how far can it go?..

the other thing is, i have to stop feeling pity for any girl i don’t have feelings for,it’s not nice but somehow i have to make it clear to them that going out with them can mean alot of things,so don’t hope if i don’t show that i have feelings for you..if i do,i’d be acting different..that’s the beauty of infatuation..it comes and goes ..

the funny thing is when a girl kept thinking that i ‘m having a crush on her,or have feelings for her,but the fact is i don’t, and then she ignore me for no reason,or she replied my msgs because of pity,whereas all along i just want to be friends..oh gosh please don’t kid yourself,don’t ever think you’re the most pretty one among the girls that i know..jangan nak perasan baby..

Till then..

she..

i will never reveal my feelings…or will i?..

it’s getting worse,each day just thinking about her,just wondering…just want to know what she’s doing…oh gosh please don’t daydream..that’s just being a loser…i have to do that thing..to confess to her ..

or will i lose?..will i lose??…i don’t know..being friends is great ..but if it’s more than that,i can’t say…sometimes i can never say never…eventhough how complicated the relationship will be,if we belong together..

what will she think?..what is it?..i fear the worst,because she might not have feelings for me..

but let’s just say this..i will accept her,for whatever reasons she might think of, just to prevent me from being with her and she will do that,if i confess my feelings to her..because she wants me to be happy,and she will think i don’t deserve a lady like her..but i will be happy with her..

her smile,her smell,her laughter..her silly jokes..

wait what story is this?

why am i posting this?

Nah..eh wait..is it a yes?

The one true love?

I’ve always wondered what true love means..people can say alot of sweet things before they are married,yea the normal courtship period..Honestly, i feel that guys will be the problem in marriage,not all but in most cases..What i heard/observed,the husband cannot really accept his wife’s imperfections..Which kept me thinking,why did you want to marry her in the first place?..Why?..Is it because you felt that this is the face you’re going to see when you wake up in the morning?..or is it the burden of sharing or facing problems together?..or is it something else?  Everytime a married man meet up with friends,some of them who are not married,like me ,they will always complained about a lot of stuff about their marriage among other things..

I really pity their wives…

What do you expect then?..You cannot get a perfect woman..And sad to say the wives will always be supportive or will accept their husband’s imperfections…is that fair?..i guess not,it’s not fair at all

One valuable lesson that i learnt from all these..NEVER marry someone for their looks,if it’s looks that you want..just don’t hope for a long term marriage,everyone will get old and looks will definitely fade away..

Yes definitely looks play a part for that first impression,but eventually a good heart will always win..i always believe in that..hopefully it comes true for me cos i don’t have the looks and sometimes i still envy other people..it’s better for me if my spouse is more pretty/good looking than i am..

The most common question a lot of people have asked before..”Who is your dream girl?”

my answer? “i can’t describe in detail because once you fell in love with that girl, no matter what statistics she has, you still want to be with her..”