what can i say?..hmm..i guess when you love someone so much and when things don’t work out..it hurts..me and her?..been through alot,seriously..
yeah the usual stuffs ..and then the quarrels,misunderstandings,jealousy..and a little sense of betrayal..
i don’t want to write a story on my ex-lover..but i think a tribute would be nice..hmmm
a couple of months felt like years..you’re a stewardess,rides a bike,a vocalist..im sorry i didn’t love you for what you are..you really failed to appreciate why i love you in the first place..what ive done for you,and what i did with you..trust me i really never,with any other girl..and i fell in love with you when you’re at your worst state..financially,physically,emotionally..did my best to provide and care for you..but all that doesn’t mean anything to you if one makes mistakes so often..
when things started to get shaky,the arguments,accusations,misunderstandings..we all have our bad and good points..you can’t accept mine,and you want me to accept yours..fair?
i’m not perfect,but i’ve realised all the deadly sins i made when i’m with you..really want to tell you..but didn’t dare to,because all the time in my mind is “just make you happy”..Alot of times i asked myself,how should i continue to be with you?..”hari2 buat dosa..” but i loved you..
When i started to go for religious classes,to indulge myself in what i really should have done all this while,which is to be a good muslim…i became awkward with you..what is wrong is obvious for me to see,sometimes my mouth just itching to say something ,an advice or whatever..i couldn’t do it..”ape nak buat,tak boleh tegur kan?..” i don’t want to be a hypocrite..knowing what’s wrong but still doing it without any sense of regret..add to that you got a new job,from there i started to feel that we drifted apart.
One thing for sure is you don’t know who i am..yes i admit part of it its my fault..you never get to know the real me..maybe because i feared if you knew you will feel intimidated,inferior..you never knew what i can do,you never knew what i’m capable of..you never knew what great lengths i took just to make you happy..
i can’t fit into your life,maybe it’s not meant to be..or we weren’t suppose to be together right now,i don’t know..even when we were happy together i already started to realise this,you started to become those common girls who wants everyone’s attention..your problem? “lack of attention” ..yeah i knew where the problem started from…i really pity you for that matter..but why be someone common?…
i don’t hate you miss..i hate what you did to me that’s all,and the fact that you just acted as if nothing happened, infuriates me further..ignorance and keeping silence,at least tell me rather than sms-ing me ” i’m sorry,i thought you will realise yourself.. i didn’t tell you because i don’t want to hurt you”..and you sms-ed also because i sent you that letter asking for answers..it’s like you want to end the relationship,but i’m doin the dirty work for you and i have to clean up the mess..i wasn’t dumb to realise you don’t want to be with me..c’mon girl, i’m not most guys..i knew you were a coward,always running away from problems,hoping you will forget about it..but if you want to leave,please have the decency to tell me,what you did,was damn disrespectful..can’t believe i went through shit just to make you happy.. i don’t have any respect for you anymore..I’m thankful to Allah that patience is one of my strong points…
—Surah Al-Nahl ayat ke 127-128
” Dan bersabarlah,tidaklah berhasil kesabaranmu melainkan dengan memohon pertolongan Allah dan janganlah engkau berdukacita terhadap kedegilan mereka dan janganlah engkau bersempit dada atau bimbang disebabkan tipu daya yang mereka lakukan..Sesungguhnya Allah bersama orang yang bertaqwa dan orang yang berusaha memperbaiki amalannya”….
i keep all your good points in my heart,its for you to know and for you to find out..certain things i can only say to you in person,so that you will know i’m sincere
you don’t have to worry about me,you might have misunderstood me thinking i’ve yet to move on…sms-ing you telling you i missed you..please don’t think too much into it..yeah well i can feel that you moved on fast,right now you already might have a new guy..i’m happy for you,but please don’t be fooled too easily..Don’t get me wrong,i’m not jealous,i just don’t want you to get hurt..i’m worried you might end up with someone hopeless..and the whole circus starts again..yeah the common honeymoon period,the courtship,same interests in stuffs,the touching,kissing,hanky panky..oh well once you get your driver’s license, you and me know what couples do in cars nowadays.. its the L word..my only worry is that you end up with someone hopeless,irresponsible and you will end up being lost..but you don’t deserve that kind of guy,your’re a good girl,that’s why i hope you’ll get someone to guide you to be a good muslimah…before it’s too late…
—-Surah Al-Nahl,ayat ke 104
Sesungguhnya orang yang tidak beriman kepada ayat-ayat Allah..Allah tidak akan memberi hidayah kepada mereka dan mereka pula beroleh azab yang pedih…..
